The Delusion That Somebody Out There Has It All Figured Out!

...Is Actually What Keeps You Suffering!

Hey there, friend!

Let's talk about a topic that's near and dear to my heart: the delusion that somebody out there has it all figured out.

Spoiler alert: they don't. And the sooner we realise that, the sooner we can stop suffering and start living.

I know, I know. It's easy to look at the people around us - the ones with the perfect Instagram feeds, the high-powered careers, the seemingly effortless relationships - and think, "Wow, they have their life together." But here's the thing: appearances can be deceiving.

As the wise philosopher and occasional rapper Kanye West once said, "The prettiest people do the ugliest things."

In other words, just because someone looks like they have it all figured out on the outside doesn't mean they're not struggling on the inside.

In fact, research shows that comparing ourselves to others is a surefire recipe for unhappiness. A study by the University of Copenhagen found that people who frequently compared themselves to others on social media were more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety.

So why do we do it? Why do we continue to buy into the delusion that somebody out there has cracked the code to life and that if we could be more like them, we'd be happy, too?

Here are a few reasons:

1. We're wired for comparison.
From an evolutionary standpoint, comparing ourselves to others helped us survive by figuring out where we fit in the social hierarchy. But in today's world, it's more likely to make us miserable than keep us safe.

2. We're bombarded with highlight reels.
Social media and glossy magazines show us carefully curated versions of people's lives, making it easy to forget that behind every perfect photo is a whole lot of messy reality.

3. We're afraid of uncertainty.
Let's face it: life is unpredictable. And for many of us, the idea that nobody has it all figured out is scary. It's much more comforting to believe that somebody out there has the answers, even if, deep down, we know it's not true.

But here's the good news: once we let go of the delusion that somebody has it figured out, we can start to embrace the beautiful, messy, uncertain reality of life.

We can start to trust ourselves and our own journey rather than constantly comparing ourselves to others.

Here are a few ways to start:

• Practice self-compassion.
  Instead of beating yourself up for not having it all figured out, try treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer a good friend.

• Focus on progress, not perfection.

  Celebrate your small wins and the ways you're growing and learning rather than fixating on some imaginary finish line.

• Embrace uncertainty.

  Life is full of surprises, both good and bad. Instead of trying to control everything, practice letting go and trusting that you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way.

• Surround yourself with authentic people.
  Seek out friends and mentors who are honest about their own struggles and vulnerabilities rather than those who only show you their highlight reel.

And remember: just because somebody else seems to have it all figured out doesn't mean they actually do.

"Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimise the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame." - Brené Brown.

So the next time you compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel, remember that it has yet to be figured out. And that's okay. In fact, it's more than okay - it's what makes life so interesting.