The Happiness Myth We're All Buying Into
A New Framework to Cultivate Joy From Within
"If only I could get that promotion..."
"Once I make six figures, I'll be happy."
"My life would be perfect if I could find the right partner."
We've all fallen into this happiness trappings game, tying our joy and life satisfaction to future achievements, milestones, or relationships.
Here's the harsh reality: all those "If only..." scenarios fool us. The truth is authentic happiness doesn't come from any external source. It's an inner working of the mind that each of us already possesses.
I know, I know. That sounds like a fundamental woo-woo concept, glazed with crystals and chakra vibes. But stick with me—a growing body of scientific evidence points to the same counterintuitive conclusion.
Let's start with a famous Harvard study that tracked two groups of people for over 75 years. The wildly divergent life paths of presidents and people experiencing homelessness were all represented.
Researchers' key finding? Once basic needs were met, external factors and circumstances showed no correlation to overall happiness or life satisfaction. Instead, the study conclusively linked maintaining strong social ties and leading an engaged life as the prime drivers.
It's just one of many investigations reaching similar conclusions. A University of Virginia analysis found that individual happiness plateaued after someone's annual income hit around $75,000. Any money beyond that had little impact.
The list is filled with examples of lottery winners reverting to their pre-windfall happiness levels, and even research shows no discernible mood boost for people living in idyllic paradise locations.
Science confirms the old philosophical adage that happiness is an inside job.
So, if fulfilment, joy, and life satisfaction aren't derived from external achievements or possessions, where do they come from? What's their origin source?
According to researchers like Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky at UC Riverside and Dr. Matthieu Ricard, often called the "world's happiest man," it stems from purposefully cultivating certain traits, habits and mental practices over time. Things like:
• Mindfulness and living in the present moment
• Journaling and other self-reflection routines
• Developing an attitude of gratitude
• Pursuing experiences over material possessions
• Contributing to others and cultivating compassion
• Maintaining solid social connections
• Engaging in lifelong learning and growth
You see, much like an underutilised muscle, we already possess the hardware for genuine, soul-level happiness. We have to train it.
So, if happiness is this innate skill we're all born with, how do we start flexing and strengthening it?
It takes adopting a new mindset framework, one centred around purposeful routines and habits. Instead of chasing external proxies for fulfilment, we reverse the lens. Engage in the daily practices that nurture happiness from within:
• Start your mornings with meditation, journaling or prayer
• Throughout the day, pause to breathe and find moments of presence
• Make a daily habit of expressing gratitude to someone in your life
• Book regular dates with friends or connect in group settings
• Spend 15 minutes/day learning something new through reading, online courses or podcasts
• Map your time in service to meaningful causes beyond your self-interest
These seem like small, inconsequential rituals. When you plant them daily, they will grow into the nurturing soil from which profound happiness flourishes.
It's an entirely counterintuitive path. We're so accustomed to thinking fulfilment stems from some future achievement, but the truth is far more straightforward: the unbounded joy we seek isn't earned. It's remembered and cultivated.
All the trappings—wealth, possessions, status—won't give you that. Do you have the habits and mindset to uncover your inner happiness muscle? That's a real-life superpower just waiting to be flexed.
