Ukeireru : a simple guide to happiness
The idea here is that once you start to truly accept others, you’ll have a better understanding of their point of view—especially helpful when it’s different from your own.
Ukeireru? At first, I thought it was some trendy Japanese snack. But as it turns out, it's a way of life that has rocked my world!
Let me explain.
Ukeireru means "accepting things wholeheartedly" instead of fighting against reality.
It's like when you finally stop trolling people online and log off for some fresh air—so refreshing! I suddenly felt way more chill by accepting circumstances instead of raging against them.
It's easy to develop a habit of rejecting or resisting things that make us uncomfortable. We may push away difficult emotions, argue against differing viewpoints, or cling tightly to expectations about how things "should" be. Ukeireru provides an antidote to this tendency.
We reduce our suffering when we open ourselves up to receiving reality precisely as it is, without trying to fight or control it.
With ukeireru, we accept the circumstances, abandon our ideals about how it "should" be, and move through the experience more gracefully.
Ukeireru also enhances our connections with others. When we suspend judgement and truly listen with an open heart, we allow people to feel heard and understood, fostering deeper intimacy in relationships.
An attitude of acceptance creates a welcoming space for others to express their whole selves.
So how can we cultivate more ukeireru in our daily lives? It begins with developing awareness of our habitual reactions and patterns of resistance.
Notice when you argue with reality, wish circumstances were different, or get hung up on expectations. In those moments, consciously let go and accept things as they are.
Ukeireru has also been a total game-changer in my relationships. I used to get so annoyed anytime someone had a different opinion. But now I zip my lips and listen with an open mind. It helps me understand where they're coming from instead of just waiting to fight back with my biased views.
Since embracing ukeireru, most friends have noticed I'm more chill and approachable.
Of course, I still have moments when acceptance feels impossible—we all do. But as soon as I notice myself slipping into resistance mode, I stop and ask, "Am I going to let this situation launch me into a drama situation?" The answer is usually "hell no!" So I take a beat, reconnect with that open-hearted spirit of ukeireru, and move right along.
You can also practice ukeireru through mindfulness meditation, intentionally accepting all arising thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without opposition.
The next time you find yourself in a heated discussion, try stepping back from your agenda and simply listening to understand the other perspective.
If you tend to be a tightly wound control freak like I was, I recommend trying ukeireru.
You might find that a life of wholehearted acceptance is way more fun! Why stress over stuff you can't control when you could dance it off instead?
More resources :
1. https://lifehacker.com/how-to-practice-ukeireru-the-japanese-art-of-acceptanc-1844581505
2. https://www.forbes.com/sites/akikokatayama/2020/07/12/ukeireru-this-japanese-mindset-may-be-key-to-your-happiness/
